How Do I Decline an Offer of a Quota Bag from my Hermès SA Without Risking Being Forgotten?

Dear PurseBop:

How do I decline an offer of a quota bag from my Hermès SA? Will it affect my future relationship with my SA and future offers?

Dear Accepting the Perfect Bag:

Refusing the offer of a quota bag from your SA is acceptable if it is handled properly. There are certain guidelines to follow to ensure that future offers will be forthcoming.

• Establish an honest and open relationship with your SA. 
• If you have a definite style, size, color, leather, and hardware you prefer, be very clear about your choices. For example, if you only want a Kelly 25, and not a larger size, be very specific. Also, if you prefer either Retourne or Sellier, be clear which style you want so you are not faced with an offer of the opposite style. Your SA appreciates your directness so they do not waste an offer of a bag you will not accept.
• If you are open to trying new styles and sizes, or allowing your SA to “surprise” you with bags you never considered, let your SA know. In this situation it is easier to refuse an offer that was not specifically requested. However, beware that multiple refusals of bags may require some discussion of the type of bag you are hoping to acquire. 
• The goal is to avoid wasting your SA’s time and energy getting approval for a bag that you are less likely to accept. The more specific your wishlist, the easier it is for your SA to offer you something you will love.
• If you only want a neutral color bag, be specific which neutral colors you like and the colors that would not be acceptable with your wardrobe, lifestyle, and aesthetic.
• If you are open to a pop of color give your SA 2-3 color choices so they do not offer a color you would never consider.
• If you only like gold (or palladium) hardware, be specific. This is very helpful.
• If you have refused multiple offers, be cautious. Offer a specific reason for the refusal and reaffirm what bag you are waiting for. This will allow your SA to focus on exactly the type of bag you would accept.

SA’s generally appreciate when their clients are clear about their preferences. It helps them understand your taste and target future offers.

The Best Way to Decline an Offer:

• Be gracious. Express your gratitude for the offer and compliment the bag. 
• Offer a clear reason for the refusal. Size, color, hardware, or style are legitimate reasons.
• Reaffirm your interest in your dream bag and offer specifics.
• Contrary to some beliefs, declining an offer does not ruin your relationship with your SA or reset your turn. Many clients are offered their dream bag after one or two refusals.
• What matters most is your open and honest ongoing relationship with your SA and your genuine gratitude for the offers made.

Good luck on getting your dream bag.