Doubt Means Don't!
Let’s talk about the elephant in the room. Recall the excitement and anticipation every time you step into an Hermès boutique. Especially now, during the pandemic, when you need to plan ahead, make an appointment, and only have one hour to shop. Like many of us, do you lose all sensibilities when offered a quota bag, reacting impulsively instead of considering the purchase logically?
Your SA contacts you because he has something special he thinks you will love. But no details beforehand, not even a hint. The anticipation is killing you. Perhaps it is a tdf (to die for) Rose Confetti Kelly 25 Sellier. So hard to get. Or the Birkin 25 in Craie with rose gold hardware that you have been hoping for. Or maybe a mini Kelly 20 that has been on your wishlist for years!
Read: How I Got My First Kelly 25 Sellier
You wonder, anticipate, consider the options, tell yourself to be calm, don’t be impulsive. Rationally, you should love the combination of style, color, hardware, and leather. It is, after all, a huge investment, whether it is your first or your twenty-first offer. Remember: do not feel obligated to accept the bag offered if it does not make your heart sing. These mistakes can be costly.
You wait for your SA to enter the private room. A peek at the sealed box and you nearly squeal with excitement. You wait patiently while your SA puts on his glove, opens the box, and does the unboxing. OMG she is perfect!
But is she?
You look at her, hold her, admire her, examine her. Your excitement takes over the logical side of your brain.
You already have a quota bag in a similar color. Or it is not the exact hardware you prefer. Perhaps the leather is a type you had never before considered. Is it too delicate? Will you be afraid to use it for fear of scratching? Maybe it is not the size or style you had hoped for.
But your mind is racing, the clock is ticking, your hour-long appointment is now almost over. Can you possibly refuse this beauty, walk away, never look back, wait for the next offer? If there is a next offer.
You wonder what your SA would think. How long would you have to wait to get offered another quota bag? You would leave the store empty handed. Disappointed, confused, second guessing your choice. So much is going on inside your head you are ready to explode.
But remember the feeling you had a month ago when you were offered the verso Kelly and you did not hesitate for one moment. The inside color “took your breath away.” You knew that special, unique Kelly had to be yours.
Read: Hermes Reveal: Imagine Caramel with a Dash of Rose d’Ete
You did not have that same feeling today….
What Happens if You Pass on The Bag
Saying no can be hard. Especially when you consider bags you’ve passed on in the past. Perhaps you didn’t regret leaving the bag in the store. Or maybe you did, lying awake in the middle of the night thinking, I should have bought that one? You contacted your SA the very next day to say wait, I changed my mind! Only to be told, I am sorry she was sold.
Then there is the open-ended question of how long you will have to wait for another offer. Days pass into weeks, weeks into months, and still no call from your SA. Must you continue to shop non-quota items, all to ensure the SA keeps you in mind. Do anything to avoid dropping to the bottom of his call list.
So You Take It
Thinking of this, rather than the actual bag, you tell your SA yes, yes, yes! The bag is yours, even though you know she is not perfect in your own mind. You ignore the red flags and that voice in your ear that is saying, doubt means don’t, doubt means don’t.
You pay for her, take her home, do your own unboxing, stage a photoshoot in your home, compare her to your other bags.
Then you realize…
Something is off, just not right. Every time you look at her you hesitate, you do not smile, there is no music in your heart. What is wrong with me? Where is the love I thought I felt in the store?
Has my heart suddenly turned cold?
You can’t sleep, you can’t eat, you can’t take your “new-in” out of her box. She sits in the dark corner of your closet as if she is punished. What to do?
You could return or exchange your lovely new quota bag within 30 days. Is that even possible? Or will you silently and unknowingly be forced into ban island by the boutique? No more calls or texts from your SA. No more offers of Birkins or Kellys in the future. No possibility of being offered the opportunity to create a SO (Special Order). Your concerns are endless.
You could contact a reputable (online) reseller. Submit a request for an offer to purchase your boutique fresh, bnib (brand new in box) quota bag, with all stickers intact. Although your goal is not to make a profit, you know this bag will be offered online over retail price. After all, she is gorgeous, she just does not fit perfectly into your ideal collection.
Buying an Hermès bag is a substantial investment. It does not matter if it is your first, fifth, or twenty fifth quota bag. The thought process is the same. Do you resist the siren’s call? Or does the sight of her send your heart soaring?
Does the bag meet all the specifications on your wish list?
Is it a color that makes your heart sing when you stare at her?
Is it the hardware you love or believe is missing in your collection?
Is it a type of leather that fits into your lifestyle, that you will use and enjoy, that you will not fear scratching or ruining?
Is it the style, type, size and leather you desire?
Basically, is it the ONE?
If you can answer YES to all the questions above, it is a no brainer. But what if you answer no to one of the questions. Is it a dealbreaker? Can you learn to love her as much as your others? Will you regret buying her? Or will you regret passing? Is she destined to remain a closet ornament?
Tick tock, tick tock, the clock is ticking. Make your decision.
You have one life line. Call a friend or ask a stranger in the store. You take the life line. You call your best friend who knows you better than you know yourself. She knows your collection. She knows your struggles. She knows you are impulsive and she is your calming, more logical voice. You have had similar conversations countless times.
Your bff reminds you of the shopping motto she taught you many years ago:
Doubt Means Don’t
You remember. You discuss your options with her.
You make your decision. Was it the right decision?
Keep the conversation going on boptalk. We want to hear about your purchases, your regrets, the ones you passed on, the ones you purchased but then returned or rehomed, the ones that felt absolutely right at the start, and the ones that never truly felt right but you ignored all the red flags.
[This article is dedicated to your best friend, your shopping buddy, the person who represents the logical side of your brain, your calming force, your mentor, confidante, life line, your everything!]